Between a rock and a hard place: why you must indulge your jealousy

Whenever something good happens to other people – especially people we have some sort of relationship to – our immediate reaction is to feel a tinge of hotness in our stomach.

The thought that goes along with it, can range from “oh, shucks I wish it was me” to “how on earth could they promote that motherfucker, he is dumb as a doorknob?!?”

The point is, we all feel jealous from time to time – it’s a very human emotion – and it’s very hard to deal with, truth be told. We’re raised to believe that jealousy is a sin, and that we must avoid it at all costs, but avoiding certain emotions because they’re supposedly not good for us, has all sorts of psychological drawbacks in its own right.

So I’m here to tell you to indulge your jealousy, because in all honesty there are very few people who I genuinely want good things to happen to besides myself.

I don’t think as myself as Satan incarnate, but I am very much human and what I’m getting at, is that being un-jealous is incredibly hard – at least for me – and since you’ve read this far, my guess is you feel the same.

What I want to do is to put the shoe on the other foot, and instead of obsessing over ways not to be jealous, or trying to think of how we can all become better people by wishing well for others, I’m going to encourage you to indulge your jealousy.

It’s okay to not want good things to happen to others.

Feel your anger, your spite and your fury in all it’s magnificence.

But here’s the plot twist: who and what you’re jealous of and why tells you a lot about your deepest, hidden motivations.

I am sorely jealous of most talented non-fiction writers. I’d swap lives with Tim Ferriss, Dan Pink and especially Tim Urban in a heartbeat.

I adore these guys, and I want them to be incredibly successful so that I can continue to enjoy their work, but I also want a career like them.

I’m motivated by the freedom they have, by the creative genius they all possess and I’m jealous of their extraordinary gifts.

Who you’re jealous of, tells the story of your deepest desires, so if you really want to find out what motivates you, find out who makes you the most jealous.

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