Tag: marriage

Telling your fiancée you need to jack off and other keys to a happy (and lasting) relationship

The last 7 years have been some of the most wonderful of my life. I finished my university degree, I’ve started putting in the groundwork for my career, and most importantly, I’ve met the woman of my dreams.

In October 2011 I met the woman who I will marry on October 20th 2018, to which you might very reasonably ask: “why should I care?”

You should care dear reader, because my fiancée and I have had good times and bad times. We’ve dealt with health scares, infidelity, argued about important things, about silly things and now we’ve arrived at a point where we say things as they are.

The filter is wafer thin, so as to almost be invisible:

When we’re upset with each other we say it, when I need to jerk off, I tell her that I want to, and she knows that it’s not about her.

The reason I point this out, is because honesty is such a a fundamental part of our relationship, and I’ve observed that the more honest we are with each other, the better our relationship becomes.

Another element of our relationship, which I adopted from The Happiness Advantage is to write down a few things every day about her which I’m grateful for. Doing this, means I have to look for things about her I’m grateful for, so that I can write it in my journal.

This might sound trivial, but this has a way of crowding out many negative emotions. Don’t get me wrong – we’re not perfect, and we still argue, but it’s less intense, less severe and less often than we used to, and if I could only keep a single daily practice, this would be the one.

Finally, we fart around each other. Specifically it’s important that she farts around me – it’s important because she is not the most comfortable about her body, so this signals a certain trust, and trust is everything in a relationship. When that trust is broken it takes time to rebuild. A long time. I broke that trust once, and it took a long time to rebuild, but it was worth it.

We came out stronger on the other side, and though neither one of us would ever go back to that time, we both agree that it has made our bond that much stronger.

It has made us stronger individually and collectively, and that trust which we have painstakingly built over the last 7 years through many trials and tribulations has forged the bond that holds us together and made our relationship a strong one.

I realize that there are no guarantees about staying together forever, but there is no person in the world I’d rather take my chances with.